There’s a pretty high chance you have heart this mantra said by the birth workers in your area. “Who you choose to have in your birth space, matters.” But WHY does it matter? Why can’t you just have any ole person to document your birth and be your doula?
Experience in the birth space:
There is just so much that experience teaches a doula. Like when to go to a birth. Going too early in early labor and disrupting your laboring pattern from going too late and missing the birth is a fine balance that can only be learned. Then there’s knowing how to act while you are in labor. Knowing how to respond to you and your requests. To understanding how to interact with the other parts of your birth team like your OB or Midwives. Most importantly, how to support your husband through everything without focusing on themselves. Birth workers who have experience in the birthing space come with a calm presence, they know that laboring mamas can subconsciously pick up on anxiety or frantic feelings. Experienced doulas know not to ask when your baby will be born, or how long labor will last.
Understanding the birthing process:
If who you have in your birth space doesn’t understand the basic foundation of birth, they are about to enter your space, in a mindset that will not support you. Understanding contraction patterns, what early labor is and what to do during that time. Or what happens during transition. I learned so fast that birth is not predictable but is lead by a bigger force than all of us, the Lord. Sometimes there is no heads up and birth happens fast. There are some times where labor starts and will stop, only to start again days or weeks later. Birth is unpredictable. It takes patience, understanding, and humility. Understanding the different ways you can labor, and the different outcomes of what a healthy birth can look like, leads to understanding and honoring the choices that you make.
Being on call is a skill:
One of the biggest parts of being in the birth world, is being on call and understanding what that truly means. Anyone you choose to be on your birth team is committing to you and your family to be available or have a trusted backup available 24 hours a day for 7 days a week until you have your baby. Which could be at any time, over the span of 4-5 weeks. That means not going out of town, having everything ready to leave home or whatever activity they are at, at the drop of a hat. That means having their phone on them and on loud, at all times. When your doula/birth photographer has a whole day planned, but you start labor, their whole day is reorganized. It’s kind of like being caught off guard all the time, but planning for it. It takes understanding that most births happen in the middle of the night and early mornings.
Helpful tip: Choose a birth doula/photographer/midwife who has experience in the many different birth spaces possible, who has understanding of the birthing process, and knows what it truly means to be on call. Vet them, ask them questions about their experiences in birth.
